Definition of Calories: Tiny creatures colonizing your closet. They sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.
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Do you call a person who has abandoned their diet a desserter?
Most people gain weight by having intimate dinners for two…alone. —”Laugh Yourself Healthy,” by Charles Hunter
I wish I hated pizza as much as pizza hates me.
I heard Bruce Willis is trying to lose weight. Apparently, he’s trying to “Diet Hard.”
Things just aren’t going to work out between us. It’s not you, it’s me. You are tasteless, boring, and I can’t stop cheating on you.
I’m not vegetarian because I love animals. I’m vegetarian because I hate vegetables.
What do you get when you put the right amount of meat and vegetables on a scale? A balanced meal.
The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.