I Have a Dieter Inside Me
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Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out.
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Why are most horses in shape? Because they are on a stable diet.
Q: What do you call a dumb omnivore?
A: A meathead!
It took a lot of willpower, but I finally gave up dieting.
“I’m not interested in any diet plan unless it lets me use rollover calories.”—@sbellelauren
I’m going to open up a low carb bakery and I’m going to call it No Bun Intended.
Trail mix is just an inconvenient way to eat M&Ms.
What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet? A desserter.
Did you hear about the hungry clock? He went back four seconds.