I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, pen, cell phone, temper, and my mind.
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It took a lot of will power. But I finally gave up dieting.
Q: How many carnivores does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to stay in the dark!
D.I.E.T. = Did I Eat That?
Hey, Lady! Want to drop 5 pounds? Let go of the purse.
My fitness coach told me to bend down and touch my toes. I said, “I don’t have that kind of relationship with my feet. Can I just wave?” —@KerryKatona7
A great way to lose weight is to eat while you are naked and standing in front of a mirror. Restaurants will always throw you out before you can eat too much.
I tell people I’m on a low-carb diet. But in reality, I just eat pasta while lying on the floor.
I heard Bruce Willis is trying to lose weight. Apparently, he’s trying to “Diet Hard.”