Two kids are on their way to Sunday school when one says to the other, “What do you think about this Satan stuff?”
“Well, you remember Santa? This could turn out to be your dad too.”
A pastor I know of uses a standard liturgy for funerals. To personalize each service, he enters a “find and replace” command into his word processor. The computer then finds the name of the deceased from the previous funeral and replaces it with the name of the deceased for the upcoming one.
Not long ago, the pastor told the computer to find the name “Mary” and replace it with “Edna.” The next morning, the funeral was going smoothly until the congregation intoned the Apostles’ Creed. “Jesus Christ,” they read from the preprinted program, “born of the Virgin Edna.”