Every time I start a diet I hear the Mission Impossible theme song in my head.
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I know it’s three meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
Q: What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea?
A: A salad shooter.
I’m going to open up a low carb bakery and I’m going to call it No Bun Intended.
“Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.”
Q: How did Native Americans say vegetarian?
A: “Bad hunter!”
What do you get when you put the right amount of meat and vegetables on a scale? A balanced meal.
Why did the diet coach send her clients to the paint store?
She heard you could get thinner there.
It took a lot of willpower, but I finally gave up dieting.