I'm not vegetarian because I love animals. I'm vegetarian because I hate vegetables.
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What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley
The only difference in my life when I’m on a diet is instead of saying “I ate nachos,” I say “I accidentally ate nachos.”
Every time I make plans to eat better, I can hear my stomach laughing.
Hey, Lady! Want to drop 5 pounds? Let go of the purse.
Q: What is a man’s idea of a balanced diet?
A: A beer in each hand.
Q: What is the Native American word for vegetarian?
A: “Poor hunter!”
Nutrition question: How many Skittles equal one serving of fruit?
How do most people curb their appetite? At the drive thru window.