People act like the North Pole and the South Pole are exactly the same, but really, there's a whole world of difference between them.
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Q. How is the alphabet different on Christmas from every other day?
A. There’s Noel!
Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.
For Christmas, I gave my kid a BB gun. He gave me a sweater with a bull’s-eye on the back.
Q: What’s as big as Santa but weighs nothing?
A: Santa’s shadow!
Three buildings in town were overrun by squirrels—the town hall, the hardware store, and the church. The town hall brought in some cats. But after they tore up all the files, the mayor got rid of the predators, and soon the squirrels were… Read More
One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also
go in mid-December.
— Louis C.K.
Q: What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery?
Q: What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?