Q: What did the schizophrenic bookkeeper say?
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A: I hear invoices!
Stephen Pickering, Marshall, Michigan
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Q: What is a lion’s favorite Christmas carol?
A: Jungle Bells.
News that her third child was going to be a girl thrilled my cousin, who already had two boys. "My husband wants to call her Sunny," she told me, "and I want to give her Anna as her middle name in memory of my mom." I … Read More
Q: What are two things you wouldn’t eat after waking up?
A: Lunch and dinner.
What do you call a dumb carnivore? A meathead.
How many carnivores does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They prefer to stay in
How many vegetarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I don’t know… Read More
I think a lot of the conflict that happened in the Wild West could’ve been avoided had architects in those days just made their towns big enough for everyone.
Seen on reddit.com
Matt swallowed all the tiles from his Scrabble set. Doctors said the problem will work itself out, but not in so many words.—From Man Walks into a Bar by Stephen Arnott and Mike Haskins (Ulysses Press)
Q: With pointed fangs I sit and wait; with piercing force I crunch out fate; grabbing victims, proclaiming might; physically joining with a single bite. What am I?
A: A stapler
Why can’t a woman ask her brother for help?
Because he can’t be a brother and assist her too.