One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.
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How do most people curb their appetite? At the drive thru window.
The only difference in my life when I’m on a diet is instead of saying “I ate nachos,” I say “I accidentally ate nachos.”
Q: How many carnivores does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to stay in the dark!
I’m going to open up a low carb bakery and I’m going to call it No Bun Intended.
Q: Have you heard of the garlic diet?
A: You don’t lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!
I’m not interested in any diet plan unless it lets me use rollover calories.—@sbellelauren
I keep trying to lose weight but it keeps finding me.
I’m not vegetarian because I love animals. I’m vegetarian because I hate vegetables.