Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving,"
Little Johnny wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."
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Q: What was the turkey suspected of?
A: Fowl play.
A proud gentleman called to tell the Butterball staff how he wrapped his turkey in a towel and stomped on it several times, breaking the bones so it would fit in his pan.
Q: Why shouldn’t you look at the turkey dressing?
A: Because it will make him blush.
“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.”—Jon Stewart
Q: What do turkeys like to do on sunny days?
A: Have peck-nics!
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”—Erma Bombeck
Q: Why did the turkey refuse dessert?
A: He was stuffed.
Q: What was the turkey looking for at ToysRus?