The rules of football and the plot of The Godfather are the two most
complicated things that every guy understands no matter how dumb he is.
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Q: How do you say "Michael Phelps" in Chinese? A: Ka Ching.
None of my grandsons share my corny sense of humor. When the family is eating lasagna, I say, “Lean over your plate, boys. You’ll get
less-on-ya.” I say to the ten-year-old, “Don’t yell through the screen; you’ll strain your … Read More
A touching tribute to a waitress, spotted outside a local restaurant: "RIP Sandy. We will miss you. Server needed."
You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.
Paul F. Crickmore, test pilot
After 12 years of therapy,
my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, “No hablo Inglés.”
Comedian Ronnie Shakes
For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.
While you’re honoring Movember by not shaving for prostate cancer awareness, I’ll be celebrating Doughvember, the pizza month I made up.
Looking down the stairs at a football game, a fan spots an open seat on the 50-yard line. He asks the man sitting next to it if the seat is taken. "No," he replies. "I used to take my wife to all the games, but ever since … Read More