Bob Hope Classic!
I set out to play golf with the intention of shooting my age, but I shot my weight instead.—Bob Hope
More Jokes
Cut and Run
The one thing I’ve learned from the World Cup is that Europe still hasn’t mastered the haircut.
@Bazecraze
How do You Drown a Hipster?
Throw him into the mainstream.
Submitted by Jesse Rehn, Green Bay, Wisconsin
The Right to Remain Silent
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence.
The Latest Craze
Taking pictures with an iPad is the new fanny pack.
—@ClarkeKant
Hut, Hut, Gripe!
Sick of having to go to two different huts to buy pizza and sunglasses.
@Leemanish
Free Ride
A woman drove me to drink—and I hadn’t even the courtesy to thank her.—W.C. Fields
Sign In New-Agey Woodstock, New York:
“If you lived here, you’d be om by now.”
Alan Zoldan, Wesley Hills, New York