Did you hear about the hungry clock? He went back four seconds.
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“Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.”
I heard Bruce Willis is trying to lose weight. Apparently, he’s trying to “Diet Hard.”
Every time I start a diet I hear the Mission Impossible theme song in my head.
Never go back for seconds… get it all the first time.
It took a lot of will power. But I finally gave up dieting.
Q: Why shouldn’t you fall in love with a pastry chef?
A: He’ll dessert you.
My brain said “crunches” but my stomach auto-corrected it to “cupcakes.”
Q: What do you call a dumb omnivore?
A: A meathead!