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When the Air Force deployed me overseas, my daughter’s friend asked her where I was headed. ...
-- Brian Walker
For Christmas, I gave my kid a BB gun. He gave me a sweater with a bull’s-eye on the ...
-- Rodney Dangerfield
Marry an orphan: You’ll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws. ...
-- George Carlin
A woman goes to the post office and asks for 50 Hanukkah stamps. "What denomination?" ...
A job interviewer asked me where I wanted to be in five years. I said, "Ideally, suspended ...
-- Andrea Henry
After giving birth, I quit my job. The exit questionnaire asked, "What steps would have ...
-- Melissa Eggertsen
A man is on trial for armed robbery. The jury comes back with the verdict. The foreman stands, ...
-- Lawrence Adelson
I’ve never understood the concept of the gift certificate, because for the same 50 bucks, my ...
-- Dan Naturman
Adam bit the apple and, feeling great shame, covered himself with a fig leaf. Eve, too, felt shame ...
-- Terry Sangster
I was asked to participate in a video for work, so I brought in a couple of outfits and played ...
-- Karen Lea