A millionaire, a hard hat, and a drunk are at a bar. When they get their beers, they notice a fly in each mug. The millionaire politely asks the bartender for another beer, then proceeds to sip it. The hard hat spills out just enough to get rid of the fly and quaffs the rest. It’s now the drunk’s turn. He sticks his hand into the beer, grabs the fly by the wings, and shouts, "Spit it out! Spit it out!"
1) In World War II, a German U-boat was sunk because of a malfunctioning toilet.
2) American combat dolphins, deployed in the Persian Gulf, surrounded and captured an Iranian battleship.
3) The pen used by the military … Read More
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Need to know ASAP.
A therapist has a theory that couples who make love once a day are the happiest. So he tests it at a seminar by asking those assembled, “How many people here make love once a day?” Half the people raise their hands, each of them … Read More
You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
A first-grade teacher can’t believe her student isn’t hepped up about the Super Bowl. “It’s a huge event. Why aren’t you excited?”
“Because I’m not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too,” says the … Read More
To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m turning my house into an Italian restaurant.
Patrick McLellan (@pmclellan)
A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
We’ve begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It’s cheaper, and you get more feet.