One for the Vegetarians

“If you want to save a species, simply decide to eat it. Then it will be managed—like chickens, like turkeys, like deer, like Canadian geese.”—Ted Nugent

  • Category: Thanksgiving Jokes

    “Where’s Aunt Florence?”

    After Thanksgiving dinner, the adults gathered in the…

    Tollbooth Timer

    I worked on a toll road, answering the phone, collecting…

    Guest Relations

    Our eldest daughter, Ann, invited her college roommate to…

    Holiday Heavyweights

    The checkout clerk at the supermarket was unusually…

    Horn of Plenty

    When a music student brought his French horn to my shop for…

    State Bird

    When a Butterball Talk-Line staffer asked a caller what…

    All in the Family

    A woman in her seventies, cooking Thanksgiving dinner for…

    It’s a Wrap

    A proud gentleman called to tell the Butterball staff how…

    Carving the Turkey

    A gentleman called Butterball’s Thanksgiving Turkey…

    Upside Down Turkey Surprise

    A disappointed woman called Butterball’s Thanksgiving…

    Turkey Help in a Pinch

    One caller to Butterball’s Thanksgiving Turkey…

    One for the Vegetarians

    “If you want to save a species, simply decide to eat…

    The Best Time to Eat?

    “Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They…

    Keep It Fresh

    “Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil…

    Sweeter Than Salad

    “Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot…

    Pour You Another Glass?

    “I come from a family where gravy is considered a…

    ‘I’m Stuffed!’

    “We’re having something a little different this…

    A Scientist’s Recipe for Apple Pie

    “If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch…

    A Traditional Holiday

    “I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I…

    Too Much Turkey?

    “You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when…