One-Topping Mind

Did you ever notice that from the time you hang up the phone until the pizza guy shows up, the only conversation you have is “Where’s the guy with our pizza?”

—Comedian Bob Marley

  • Category: One-Liners

    50 Funniest Jokes

    Laugh more, live longer with the funniest jokes ever.

    Contradiction

    Seen on the door of a repair shop: WE CAN FIX ANYTHING…

    Ever Wonder…

    Ever wonder who the genius is who decided to put fire…

    Spoiled Rotten

    What do you get from a pampered cow?…Spoiled milk…

    Underwater

    What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?…Dam!…

    Always Silent

    If you arrest a mime, do you still have to tell him he has…

    Feet Conditions

    If athletes get athlete’s foot, do astronauts get…

    Going and Going

    Did you hear about the self-help group for compulsive…

    Small Dog

    Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund? Someone told him to get…

    Studying a Different Drama

    What do you call a rap star who has studied classical…

    Taking Your Money

    Did you ever notice: When you put the two words…

    A Meaningful Question

    Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac? He…

    Stylish Numbers

    Q. What did the Zero say to the Eight? A. "Nice…

    Septic Humor

    A passing septic service truck declared "19,500 lbs…

    Royal Attire

    Q: Where does a king keep his armies? A: In his sleevies!…

    Discount Shopping

    Q: Where does a one-armed man shop? A: At a secondhand…

    Eternally Optimistic

    During a recent meeting of our Optimist Club, we challenged…

    Hometown Heroes

    Our hometown baseball team is called the Possums. They get…

    The Meek Shall Inherit…

    The meek shall inherit the earth … if it’s…

    Apéritif

    Apéritif: French for "a set of dentures."…