Stop the Presses

These holiday “headlines” — concocted by the satirists at the Onion — are completely fabricated. And yet they have the ring of truth.

Coal Now Too Expensive to Put in Christmas Stockings

Study Finds Link Between Red Wine, Letting Mother Know What You Really Think

Accountants Pack Times Square for Fiscal New Year

Book Given as Gift Actually Read

  • Category: Christmas Jokes

    Quick Clean-up

    Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an…

    Misplaced

    A pastor I know of uses a standard liturgy for funerals. To…

    Honest Questions

    Two kids are on their way to Sunday school when one says to…

    Weary Travelers

    Worshippers are greeted by these words at the Travelers…

    Odd Christmas Visit

    From an article on the Woolacombe Bay Hotel in Devon…

    Christmas Eve Service

    Just as I began my Christmas Eve service, the electricity…

    Entrance to Heaven

    Three men die on Christmas Eve and go to heaven, where…

    Interesting Gifts

    For Christmas, I gave my kid a BB gun. He gave me a sweater…

    Into the Church

    Three buildings in town were overrun by squirrels—the…

    Waiting

    My wife took our three-year-old to church for the first…

    Meet and Greet

    Spotted outside a church in Michigan: "Honk if you…

    The Little Man

    A teenager waltzed into our jewelry store to buy a cross…

    Alternate History

    My mother cast one of her students as the innkeeper for the…

    Limited Knowledge

    As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve…

    Gift Exchange

    My friend reviewed her young son’s fill-in-the-blank…

    Stop the Presses

    These holiday “headlines” — concocted by the…

    ‘Tis The Season…Isn’t It?

    One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go…

    The Truth About Santa

    I tell my kids that Santa is fat because he eats the…

    Gift of The Magi?

    This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend that all I wanted…

    Yule Log

    Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Yule log. Yule log who?…