Jokes

Here's what your e-mail address says about your computer skills: Own domain (e.g., @joesmith.com): You're skilled and capable. @gmail.com:When the Internet stops working, you actually try rebooting the router before calling a…

My ex and I had a very amicable divorce. I know this because when I wrote the Facebook status "I'm getting a divorce," he was the first one to click Like.

Q: Why does a man twist his wedding ring on his finger? A: He's trying to figure out the combination.

An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean, "In return for your unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward you with your choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty." "Give me infinite wisdom!" declares…

I was playing chess with my friend, and he said, "Let's make this more interesting." So we stopped playing chess.

Take heed, scientists: Not every scientific advancement is Nobel Prize worthy. Some must lay claim to an Ig Nobel Prize, awarded by the Annals of Improbable Research magazine: The Prize for Physiology went to the report "No…

The topic for my third-grade class was genetics. Smiling broadly, I pointed to my dimples and asked, "What trait do you think I passed on to my children?" One student called out, "Wrinkles!"

Needing to escape her hectic office, my friend fled to the mall, bought a candy bar, and then relaxed on a bench next to a businessman. Soon, she heard the sound of a crumpling wrapper and realized that he was eating her candy bar…

We asked prospective job applicants at our business to fill out a questionnaire. For the line "Choose one word to summarize your strongest professional attribute," one woman wrote, "I'm very good at following instructions."

Spotted on a church marquee: "Love your enemies; After all, You made them."