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Dumb and Funny Jokes

Outrageous antics, dumb criminals, and other idiotic lines make up this dumb and funny jokes collection.

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The Last Facebook Status Update

Frank Ferri … is standing over a patient in the operating room, scalpel in hand, wishing he hadn’t lied on his résumé about being a surgeon. Here goes nothing …

Frank Ferri … is in a marriage-counseling session with his wife, wondering what the score of the football game is. Go, Eagles!

Frank Ferri … thinks that if his boss doesn’t like him sleeping on the floor of the office, then his boss shouldn’t have gotten such comfy carpets.

Frank Ferri … needs help robbing the bank over on the corner of Main and Willow. Any takers? Be there around noonish.

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Good News

Scene: Starbucks. Customer:  Hey, you lost a lot of weight. Barista: No, I gave birth two…

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Water

My friend was working at an amusement park when a couple stopped him. "Excuse me," said the woman…

87%
What's IQ Got to Do With It?

Sometimes men don't date women for their IQs. Here are some examples: Today, my girlfriend asked…

82%
Lost Dog

An old farmer is inconsolable after his dog goes missing. His wife suggests he take out an ad in…

96%
Going to the Dogs

When our client's dog lapped up anti-freeze, the veterinarian I work for ordered a unique…

81%
Beyond Our Power

A customer called our service line demanding help with her TV set, which wouldn’t come on.…

59%
Menu Item

I’d just sat down at a Manhattan diner when I noticed schav on the menu. Since I hadn’t…

67%
Looking for the Problem

As we pulled into the parking lot, we saw a couple of people looking under the hood of their car…

76%
Dumb Criminals

A job applicant’s polygraph test for the Washington State Patrol came to an abrupt end after…

63%
In the Walls

While attending an open house, my wife was taken with the home’s modern features, especially…