Forgetful

A young parish minister about to deliver his first sermon asked a retired cleric for advice on how to capture the congregation’s attention. "Start with an opening line that’s certain to grab them," the older man said. "For example: ‘Some of the best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife.’ " He smiled at the younger man’s shocked expression before adding, "She was my mother."

The next Sunday the young clergyman nervously clutched the pulpit rail in front of the congregation. Finally he said, "Some of the best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman."

He was pleased at the instant reaction—then became panic-stricken. "But for the life of me, I can’t remember who she was!"