Marriage Jokes

Laugh at the funny side of being together with these jokes about marriage.

Misreading the Signals

My fiancé and I went to a counselor to work on our…

Misfortune Cookie

After finishing our Chinese food, my husband and I cracked…

Bad Things to Tell Your Wife

A commercial boasted that its product could help people…

Might Be The Wine Talking…

A couple are sitting in their living room, sipping wine…

Will You Still Love Me?

Ah, marriage. I was standing in front of the bathroom…

Notable Never-isms

• Never try to tell everything you know. It may take too…

Sock it to Me

On the first night of their 
honeymoon, the husband…

Confessions of a Military Wife

My husband is infantry, and 
he said the most wonderful…

All Dolled Up

A husband and wife had been married for 60 years and had no…

Every Marriage Needs A Spin Doctor

My wife told me that I twist everything she says to my…

Forever Late

After 12 years in prison, a man 
finally breaks out. When…

Father of The Bribe

When I announced that I was getting married, my excited…

Kids Marry The Darnedest Things

My young son declared, “When 
I grow up, I’m going to…

A Familiar Patient

A weeping woman bursts into her hypnotherapist’s office…

A Home Affair

My client buys many rental properties, not always with the…

Realistic Romantic Comedies

• When Harry Met Sally and 
Discovered She Looks…

Tailor-Made Quips

My husband and I couldn’t decide which jacket to buy our…

What About the Other Half?

As the music swelled during a recent wedding reception, my…

Why Marriage is Difficult

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with…

A Culinary Adventure

I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our…

The Three Week Diet

A man says to a friend, “My wife is on a three-week…

Tweeter’s Digest: Just Chill

When my wife gets a little upset, sometimes a simple…

Exhibit A-Cup

A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him…

In Your Dreams

On the morning of her birthday, a woman told her husband…

Home Insecurity

As I stepped out of the shower, I heard someone in my…

How I Met Your Father

Studying our wedding photos, my six-year-old asked, “Did…

Facebook Love

My ex and I had a very amicable divorce. I know this…

Winning Numbers

Q: Why does a man twist his wedding ring on his finger? A:…

One and Only

During a heartfelt chat with her friend about…

Love and Learning

Overheard at my garden-club meeting: “I never knew…

In Training

I identify with football players because I know what…

For the Mrs?

Even though there was a blizzard raging outside, I made it…

The Right Diagnosis

A man tells his doctor that he’s incapable of doing all…

What's That Smell?

For a romantic touch, I washed our sheets with…

Years of Romance

Shortly before our 25th wedding anniversary, my husband…

Sailing vs. Shopping

After we had lunch with another couple, the women went…

True Love

It may have been the most romantic statement ever uttered…

Usual Suspicions

After Adam stayed out late a few nights, Eve became…

Reporting for Duty

A soldier in my National Guard platoon became concerned…

The Birthday Present

On his birthday, my husband was stuck driving our six…

Hearing Loss

I’d noticed that my 60-year-old father seemed to be…

Right Answer

Jack wakes up with a horrible hangover and a throbbing…

Minor Procedure

As I performed a simple medical procedure on my patient, I…

Taking Turns

Scene: My checkout line at the supermarket. Me: Paper or…

Working it Out

One friend complained to another, "All my husband and…

Pick Me Up

I was a mess. My career as an artist was going nowhere, my…

Here To Stay

A customer at a coffee shop was clearly peeved by the text…

For Richer and For Poorer

"When I married Donna, I could get both hands around…

Assumed Name

A fourth marriage meant yet another name change for me. I…

A Wrong Answer

While doing a crossword puzzle, I asked for my…