Work Jokes

We asked prospective job applicants at our business to fill out a questionnaire. For the line "Choose one word to summarize your strongest professional attribute," one woman wrote, "I'm very good at following instructions."

A graphic designer on the phone with his client. Designer:  Hi. I'm just updating the copy for your form and was wondering if you meant to say "programs" for the third question. Client: No! What I sent along was completely…

When you're interviewing for a job, you want to make an impression. Hiring managers report that these people made one—just not the right kind: Applicant hugged hiring manager at the end of the interview. Applicant ate all…

To show his appreciation, a newly hired Japanese office worker bought his boss chocolates. But when he found the box unopened, the insulted worker went ballistic, destroying 22 computers. "I wish the company president had cared a…

A job applicant was asked, "What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?" "Well," he began, "my main weakness would definitely be my issues with reality—telling what’s real…

A truer tweet has never been tweeted: "4:30 is to meeting as water is to boarding."

Job hunting is stressful enough without having to answer these interview questions posed by hiring managers: "Rate yourself on a scale of one to ten how weird you are." "How many basketballs can you fit in this…

A candy company’s sales team was promised a trip to sunny Hawaii this past winter if they met their sales quota. They missed their mark and instead got the consolation prize: a vacation in Fargo, North Dakota, where the…

Meetingboy.com invites viewers to gripe about their jobs. Some of the best responses: "No, I wasn’t playing devil’s advocate. I really think your idea is stupid." "Getting an excellent performance review…

My sister Angela was impressed by a job applicant’s confidence. "How will you gain your coworkers’ respect?" she asked. The reply: "Mainly through my misdemeanor."